I Am a Grandma's Boy

I am a grandma's boy indeed and I have spent most of my time with my Lola (grandma). We are actually an extended family and my lola used to stay with us. I grew up with my parents but I established a closer relationship with my late grandma. I am her favorite "apo" (grandson) as what my mom and my cousins used to say and I really miss those times that I am being spoiled by her. She used to call me "totoy" (baby boy) even i my teenage years and she is the only one who is addressing me that way except for my favorite Auntie who used to call me "bebe" LOL.
She is my number one fan and she adore everything I do even though I know for the fact that it is not really that good at all. Though I must say that we've been through some ups and downs too and i is really sad to say that it is always my fault.
My lola is probably the best person in the world, she's the greatest cook and a great adviser. Funny but most people thought that she's very snobby and somehow sarcastic but honestly, if you get to know her better, you will realized how caring and loving person she was (but i guess that is too late for that). Though I must admit that she was really meticulous.

I remember she told me to quit my very first job because she didn't want me to work at night. I was working in a fast food restaurant and i was only 17 that time. I was working as a counter guy and unfortunately I was always on the closer shift. I followed her and quit my job after two months LOL.
 My lola loves to eat and usually craving for midnight snack that's why she used to stock foods so that she has something to eat when she gets hungry. She was a junk food lover and a big fan of "Piattos" too and i remember she used to wake me up at night asking me to buy her some Piattos and we used to have some snack time alone. We used to make it silent (munching the chips slowly haha) or else we will get caught.
 My lola hates me when I am stay up late at night. She doesn't like me to stay up late at night but i just can't help it and it is also my job as a freelance blogger so i really have no choice. I remember how she yell at me asking me to go back to sleep. Here's my trick... i will pretend to sleep for half an hour or so and when I hear her snoring, i will get up and start working again. But she used to wake up again and start yelling to me >_<
She always tell her story and experiences to us and I really miss her telling the same old stories with us. I miss those times that she teaches me how to speak Chavacano and a bunch of stuffs.
But you know what? I really felt bad because despite of all these moments that we had together... I was not with her during those times that she's suffering a lot from her illness. If you just know how much I blame myself for being so insensitive. I was with my auntie that time because I have to work and she was with my mom. We just got a call from my mother saying that she's getting worst....
Lola... i still remember seeing your tears falling the moment that I hugged you even though you can barely talk and move. My heart was bursting in anger.... I just hated myself for being not around... i really really do and If i can only turn back those times......

Sigh...... this post is not good and long enough to tell all the things I love and miss about my lola.... I just miss her so bad.... Lola I know that you're not here with us anymore but I know that you are in God's hands. I LOVE you ♥♥♥